Treasure of the Blindswordsman Script
The Treasure of the Blind Swordsman Script
(Opening theme song)
Scene opens with the Xiaolin Temple and Master Fung.
MF: You are to begin a new quest and follow this map to the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman.
Clay: Looks more like half a map to me.
MF: The rest will reveal itself along the way, as will your new Wudia Weapons.
Omi: I’ve always wanted my very own Wudia Weapon. *daydreams* Uh hahh! [Roars]
MF: Upon completing your journey, you will learn to use your weapon. But remember you will not pick it, rather it will pick you.
Omi: I am most certain I will be the first pick. I usually am. [Crack] (Table breaks)
(Fadeout) (Scene open on a desert plain)
Kim: Eew… I’m so over this!
Rai: Whoa, this place is rank! Smells like wet coyote.
Clay: Yep, ain’t it somethin’? How’s it going back there, Little Mary?
Dojo: I think I swallowed a bug! [Coughs] Or a bird.
Omi: The first Wudia Weapon will be found at Rattlesnake Ridge.
Dojo: Sounds like a… nice, friendly place.
Wuya: [Sighs] You know what’s good about being a disembodied head? No saddle sores.
Jack: I’m surprised Chase even let you come along.
Wuya: Chase doesn’t tell me what to do. Anyway, he thinks I went to a sleepover with some evil friends.
Jack: Come on. We gotta keep moving if we are going to get to the treasure first. Right evil posse?!
Evil Posse: Yeha!
Hanni Bean: The boy and his toys, how amusing. No reason not to have a fool how’d gladly do it for you. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Dojo: [Slurps] Mmm… Dojolicious. Heh he Soups on.
Clay: Whoo-whee! Those are my favorite words.
Dojo: I call it Dojo’s Little Brown Surprise.
Omi: I believe we may have found Rattlesnake Ridge.
Dojo: Wudia Weapon at 10 o’clock!
Omi: Yes! My Wudia Weapon has chosen me!
Dojo: Oh. Days like this, I’m glad I don’t have feet. [Gasps]
Rai: Come to papa.
Clay: Looks like we’ve got a winner.
Dojo: Crouching Cougar! Shen Gong Wu! Pai!
Rai: Sorry, Omi. Maybe next time.
Rai: Well, dudes, the next Wudia Weapon is supposed to be here, at…
Clay: The Last Breath Cantina.
Dojo: Kind of takes your breath away.
Dojo: Catchy little tune.
Kim: Look over there!
Omi: My Wudia Weapon is calling for me!
Picture Dude: If you’re looking for trouble, cowpoke, you sure enough found it.
Omi: Uhh! Step aside, and I will spare you the humiliation of defeat.
Picture Dude: Looks like I’m gonna have to teach y’all some manners.
Clay: Hahh! Uhh! Aah!
Omi: Yuck! Ancient spit!
Rai: Uhh! Ah! Uhh!
Kim: Sorry Omi.
Clay: Next stop, Cactus Creek.
Dojo: The nearest I can tell, this is Cactus Creek. Or… Cleveland. Hmm. Tough call.
Omi: Finally! My Wudia Weapon!
Clay: Easy there, partner.
Clay: Or you’re gonna wind up with more needles than a Siamese porcupine.
Omi: Come here, my Wudia Weapon. Here, boy! Here! [Whistles] Come here, boy! Yes! It has heard me!
(Cacti come alive)
Kim: Looks like we’ve got company.
Rai: It’s time to show these weeds whose top of the food chain.
[Grunting and shouting]
All: H! Aah! Aah! Aah! Uhh!
[Kimiko, Rai, and Clay land on cactus needles]
Omi: Hyah! Hyah!
All: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Kim: Omi, are you OK?
Omi: (stuck to a cactus) (angrily) I have a thousand needles in my backside. What do you think?!
Clay: Wudia Crater Earth!
Clay: Come on, Omi. Time to make hay.
Omi: My Wudia Weapon!
Omi: (reaching) Eee!
Clay: Oops. Sorry partner, but I think it’s sweet on me.
Dojo: All aboard! Next stop, anywhere but here!
Jack: I’d say they can’t be more than a half-day’s ride ahead. Aah!
Rai: Dojo, you don’t look to good.
Dojo: Its Dojo’s Little Brown Surprise. I feel it backing up on me. (burps)
Kim: Omi, I think we’ve found your Wudia Weapon.
Omi: No! This cannot be! My Wudia Weapon is a pitiful stick! And guarded by nothing.
(Wudia Weapon tears)
Omi: Oh, I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt your feelings. (Grabs Weapon)
(Ground falls out beneath them and warriors fall into underground lake)
Clay: Where are we?
Kim: My guess, another creepy cave.
Clay: Looks like we hit pay dirt. The Treasure of the Blind Swordsman!
Guardian: Who dares to enter?
Rai: Yo. Blind dude. We’re over here.
Kim: Uh, we’re on a quest to find the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman?
Guardian: You must be the Xiaolin Warriors that I’ve heard so much about.
Omi: And you must be the Blind Swordsman.
Guardian: No. I am the guardian of the Treasure, protector of its magic, keeper of all its glory.
Dojo: Um, blind and chatty.
Guardian: Who said that! Who?
Clay: How about we take a look inside your treasure chest, partner.
Guardian: According to quest rules, your bravest must defeat me in battle in five moves. Then the chest is yours.
Omi: But I cannot fight you. You’re old, and blind.
(Guardian smacks Omi)
Guardian: And I fight dirty! You have four moves left.
Omi: You fight very well for not knowing where you are.
Guardian: Who are you?! I thought I was fighting a cowboy!
Omi: Oh, he is standing behind you.
Guardian: What? Where?
Guardian: Ah, the oldest trick in the book. Master Fung has taught you well Young Warrior. You have earned the right to take a look and behold all its glory.
Rai: What up? It’s empty!
Guardian: Sometimes, one must look closely to find what one is truly looking for.
Clay: I’m afraid we came a long way for nothing.
Kim: At least we still have our cool Wudia Weapons.
Clay, Rai: Yeah!
Omi: Uh… Anybody wish to trade? I will do your chores.
Dojo: Hey guys, can we go? I think I now know the surprise in Dojo’s Little Brown Surprise. (farts)
Omi: What about the blind old man? We cannot just leave him here, in this cave.
Guardian: What? I live in a cave?! (Echoes)
Jack: Outlaw bots, attack!
Jack: Well howdy!
Omi: Jack, you stand no chance against our most powerful Wudia Weapons
Omi: Shimo Staff! What do you do?
Clay: Big Bang Meteorang! Uh-oh. (Screams)
Rai: Blade of the Nebula!
Kim: Arrow Sparrow! (Destroys wagon) Oops!
Omi: Perhaps the magical weapons need batteries.
Wuya: Excellent work, Jack. With much dumb luck and assistance from the monks, you somehow managed to win.
Jack: And now to count my booty. Hey! Where’s my booty?!
Dojo: Anybody got some antacid, or a bucket?
Jack: OK eagle eye. Where is it? Where’s the treasure?!
Wuya: We’ll just take pops with us. We have ways of making blind swordsman talk. Evil ways! (laughs)
Omi: No! You cannot take him!
Jack: Sorry cheese ball. Just did! Outlaw bots, saddle up!
Guardian: Hey! Who is that? Where am I? I need to use a bathroom!
Wuya: (to Jack) What about the treasure chest?
Guardian: What? That’s disgusting!
Wuya: (to Jack) What about the treasure chest?
Guardian: What? That’s disgusting! You, you were talking to me?
Jack: Forget the chest! It’s empty! We got a train to catch. (Train whistle blows)
Jack: Once again Jack Spicer rocks. Time to take this evil on the road! Heehaw! (Coughs)
Rai: Didn’t blind dude say something about looking close to see what you’re looking to see?
Omi: Yes, but I do not think looking is one of his strengths.
Rai: But what if he was talking like the Fung-Meister? When you’re looking but not really looking. Maybe if we concentrate and picture what we’re looking for, ready?
Spirit: You have summoned the spirit of the Blind Swordsman, loyal to whoever possesses the treasure chest.
Rai: So, how about showing us how to use our new weapons?
Spirit: Open your mind and trust that your weapon will show you the way.
Omi: Shimo Staff! Ha! Oh ho! My weapon and I are most magnificent!
Clay: Big Bang Meteorang, do your stuff! Ha! Huh? Whoo! Well, I’ll be a 3-legged centipede!
Kim: Arrow Sparrow! [Boom] Burn, baby, burn!
Rai: Blade of the Nebula! Huh? Hah! Whoo! I got the power! Hoo! Hoo! I got the power!
Omi: Come, Dojo. We must rescue the blind old man at once!
Dojo: Bad news, gang. Looks like Dojo’s got a dose of whatever was in the surprise! [Rumbling] I’m afraid I’m grounded! [Burps]
Clay: Oh, man, that just is not right!
Rai: Hey! Hey ghostly dude, we could really use some help. Got any ideas?
Spirit: Look to the treasure chest.
All: Whoa! Wow!
Clay: Whoa! Nice steeds.
Omi: What about the chest?
Rai: It’ll just slow us down. We’ll grab it on the way back.
Jack: What’s a 4-letter word for idiot?
Jack: Huh? I believe this is your stop. Outlaw-bots, attack!
Outlaw-bots: Yaah! Yaah!
Clay: Big Bang Meteorang, do your stuff!
Omi: Shimo Staff! Huh! Ya! Ha! Yaah!
Rai: Blade of the Nebula! Ha!
Kim: Arrow Sparrow!
Wuya: Jack, grab the wu and let’s ride!
Guardian: First you have to get by me.
Guardian: I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdowntrio.
Rai: Come on, lets take ‘em!
Omi: No. We cannot dishonor his challenge.
Jack: Our Thorn of Thunderbolt and Silk Spinner against your Mantis Flip Coin… and the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman!
Guardian: The game is emperor of the train. Last man standing wins.
All: Let’s go! Xiaolin Showdown!
[Train whistle blows]
All: Gong yi tan pai!
Jack: Thorn of Thunderbolt!
Wuya: Silk Spinner! [Gasps]
Guardian: Ha ha ha ha!
Jack: No way! How’d you do that?!
Guardian: There are other ways to see than just with your eyes! Ah!
Guardian: Perhaps you’d like to surrender now.
Jack: Perhaps you’d like to keep your disses to yourself, four-eyes!
Wuya: He’s blind!
Jack: Even better! Time to double-team, Mr. No-eyes! Ha ha! Jack’s on an evil rant now! Thorn of Thunderbolt!
Wuya: Silk Spinner!
Guardian: Mantis Flip Coin!
Jack, Wuya: Aah!
Rai: Way to kick butt! Especially when you can’t see butt.
Omi: I do not understand. How can someone without sight fight so well?
Guardian: [Sighs] Again with the questions. It is quite simple. I use my mind to see rather than my eyes. (loudly) Didn’t you hear me before? That is the secret to the treasure chest. The answers to all your questions lie inside. You just have to look.
Rai: The treasure chest! We left it back on the trail!
Kim: Uh, you left it back on the trail.
Guardian: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really must find the bathroom.
Kim, Rai, Omi: Oh! Aah!
Clay: I believe it’s the other way, partner.
Omi: The Treasure of the Blind Swordsman is gone!
Rai: This is all my fault for leaving it behind.
Clay: Oh, what no good hombre could have taken it?
Dojo: Hmm. I have a pretty good idea.
Hanni Bean: With the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman mine, soon, the rest of the world will follow. Raah! Ha ha ha ha ha!
The Journey of a Thousand Miles Script
The Journey of a Thousand Miles
[Opening theme song]
(Scene opens with the ancient Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu depicting the story).
Narrorator/Master Fung: Thousands of years ago, a furious battle was waged between the great and noble Xiaolin Dragon, Dashi and the evil Heylin witch, Wuya. This was the first Xiaolin Showdown. Wuya pitted her dark magic against Dashi and his mystical power objects, the Shen Gong Wu. In the end, Dashi triumphed and Wuya was forever imprisoned in a simple wooden puzzle box. The threat diverted, Dashi spread his Shen Gong Wu around the Earth. For generations, they have secretly maintained the balance of good and evil. And the long line of Xiaolin Dragons has stood ready to face evil, should that balance ever shift.
(Scene continues to the Xiaolin temple where Omi is shown). (Omi practices an impressive number of kicks, strikes, and jumps).
Master Fung: Omi, time to come in young monk.
Omi: But Master Fung! My Lotus Strike ends an eighth of an inch to the left, as the Xiaolin Dragon of the Water.
Master Fung: You’re not a Dragon yet, Omi.
Omi: Yes, but I have been chosen to become one. And that means striving forth and obtaining perfection.
Master Fung: It also means having the sense to get out of the rain. Come young monk, there are things I must tell you.
Dojo: Calling it quits kid? That Lotus Strike looked like it was pulling to the left.
Master Fung: Dojo, don’t you have a scroll you’re supposed to be guarding?
Dojo: The ancient scroll of the Shen Gong Wu. Come on! Fifteen hundred years I’ve been watching it and all its done is gather dust.
Master Fung: Each day holds new surprises Dojo Kanojo Cho.
Dojo: OK! I’m going… I’m going…
Master Fung: Speaking of surprises, I have one for you Omi. New students are joining the temple.
Omi: New students! This has never happened before… at least, not in my lifetime. Can I teach them to walk on their fingers, Master? Or how to blend into the shadows… or maybe to walk on walls, and ceilings too?
Master Fung: Perhaps young monk, perhaps.
(Scene shows Raimundo, Kimiko, Clay, Omi, and Master Fung).
Master Fung: Omi, I would like you to meet, Raimundo…
Master Fung: Kimiko…
Kimiko: (on her cell phone) He said that! (To Omi) Hey! (On cell phone) No way!
Master Fung: …and Clay.
Omi: Master, where are the new students.
Master Fung: Right in front of you, Omi.
Omi: They… are not what I expected.
Master Fung: The best things in life rarely are.
Omi: You are right Master. (To the new students) Welcome my new and strangely attired friends!
Master Fung: I must be going young ones. I can see there is much teaching to be done here.
Omi: Yes Master, much teaching indeed.
(Scene opens with Omi walking on his fingers and his new friends behind him).
Omi: The key is balance. If you are a beginner, you may want to start with three fingers.
Clay: Uh, just curious, when will we need this?
Raimundo: Try never!
Kimiko: (on cell phone) OK Kako, I’ll e-mail it to you. (hangs up) Is there a net connection around here? No? Oh, no worries, I’ll go Wi-Fi. (pulls out PDA)
Omi: Oh, what is that? Is it magic?
Kimiko: It’s a PDA. I’m sending a message to a friend in Tokyo.
Omi: A secret message?
Kimiko: I’m just telling her I’ve met a very strange kid who apparently doesn’t know about personal space issues.
Omi: Really? Who? Is it that guy?
Clay: Not me partner.
Raimundo: It’s you Chrome Dome! (Omi blushes)
Omi: Listen to, the fierce cheetah method of fighting. I defy you to catch me! Witness the speed of a cheetah. I am dazzling and confounding you. And now I am… Hey! (Clay lassoes Omi by the leg and pulls him towards himself).
Clay: Hope I haven’t mucked up y’er lesson too much, little feller… just can’t resist a challenge.
Kimiko: (on cell phone) Yeah, uh-huh. The cowboy just lassoed the little guy.
Omi: (angry) I am the teacher! You are the students! You will give me the respect I deserve!
Raimundo: Respect this! (pantses Omi)(Omi blushes)
Kimiko: (on cell phone) (laughs) No way! The Brazilian kid just pantsed the bald kid!
(Scene shows Jack Spicer’s lair)
Jack: I want to rule the whole world! All of it! Not some of it. Not just Iceland or Fuji. I wanna rule the whole world!
Jack-Bot: Pardon me sir.
Jack: What?! Can’t you see I’m on an evil rant here?
Jack-Bot: Yes sir, but your father sent you a gift from Hong Kong.
Jack: Oh, a puzzle box. And my prize is… a mask? Lame! (tosses the box aside) Alright, back to world conquest! My favorite pastime… now let’s see. (As Jack talks, the puzzle box opens and a ghostly mist comes out). Europe might not be such a bad place to start… or is that too obvious? How about going for the unexpected like Arrowgy, but is that that enough of an attention grabber. I could go down through Africa, over to South America and…
Wuya: (flies through Jack’s chest) …onward to Asia!
Jack: Ahh! Spooky ghost lady! Attack!
(Shots go straight through Wuya)
Wuya: Plans for world conquest? My dear boy, we have much in common. What’s your name?
Jack: Jack Spicer. Who are you? What are you?!
Wuya: Me? I’m your new best friend…
(Scene shows the Xiaolin temple vault where Master Fung and the rest of the elders are meditating). (One by one they open their eyes).
Master Fung: Did you sense that?
Elder 1: It was as if a great chill descended upon the land.
(Shows the ancient Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu on a table and the Xiaolin elders standing in the doorway with Dojo).
Elder 2: Something has unbalanced the Shen Gong Wu.
Dojo: OK… first thing, I didn’t touch it! Uh… I think it’s busted. Can we get a new one?
Elder 3: What could do such a thing?
Master Fung: Not what… who. And the answer is… Wuya.
(Back at Jack’s lair)
Jack: Let me get this straight, Wuya. You have no physical form.
Wuya: Very perceptive.
Jack: So you need me to get these, Shen Gong Wu things. But here’s my question: what do I, Jack Spicer, evil genius, get out of this?
Wuya: Your dreams of world conquest! We shall rule, side by side.
Jack: I like where this is going. OK, so once we get all the Shen Gong Wu… then what?...
(Back at the Xiaolin temple)
Master Fung: … the world will be thrown into ten thousand years of darkness. It is your most solemn duty as Xiaolin Warriors to find all the Shen Gong Wu before Wuya does.
Raimundo: I have a question.
Master Fung: Yes, Raimundo?
Raimundo: I saw my room, and no bed, just a mat! What the dealy?! (Everyone stares at him). Um… we can talk later…
(The scene shows the Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu with Master Fung and the warriors approaching it).
Master Fung: Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Omi: The ancient Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu.
Master Fung: (opening the Scroll) The Mantis Flip Coin. It has revealed itself. Whoever holds the coin, will leap with the skill of a mantis.
(Master Fung closes the Scroll)
Omi: And so, our grand quest begins. Follow me, to victory! (Omi runs off screen). I have no idea where I’m going.
Kimiko: Yeah! How do we find the Shen Gong Wu?
Master Fung: Dojo? You helped Master Dashi hide them…
Dojo: Yeah, but that was a long time ago. You can’t possibly expect me to remember which…whoa! This way! (Points off screen).
Raimundo: Right! Like we’re gonna take directions from a gecko!
Dojo: Gecko! (Transforms into a 50 ft. dragon). Don’t ever call me a gecko!
Raimundo: (scared) Uh… my mistake!
(Flying in the clouds on Dojo’s back).
Dojo: I can’t believe I went from temple guardian to babysitter in less than a day!
Omi: Kimiko, I have never seen such a wondrous device. What is it?
Kimiko: It’s a game pal. See… I’m making Po Chi collect the disks.
Omi: Whoa! How did Po Chi get in there?
Kimiko: Um, that’s where he was born? Here, try it. (Gives game pal to Omi).
Omi: Look Kimiko! My new little friend cooperates with me as I push the buttons!
(Raimundo switches the game off).
Omi: (crying) Yaw! My little friend has been taken by the dark forces of evil! Po Chi, are you in there? Can you here the sound of my voice?
(Raimundo laughs). (Kimiko punches him in the arm).
Kimiko: Heh ah! (punch) Don’t mess with the monk!
Raimundo: (rubbing his shoulder) Girl, you hit hard!
Kimiko: No worries, Omi. The power just got switched off. See? (Turns it on).
Omi: (gasps) Po Chi! You have returned! I must remember to honor the power of the “off” switch.
(Dojo and the others arrive in San Francisco).
Dojo: Wow! A lot has changed in the last fifteen hundred years!
Omi: So many people, so many buildings. What is this place?
Raimundo: San Francisco!
Kimiko: We’ve got a Mantis Flip Coin to find…
Dojo: (sniffing) And it’s close… real close.
Jack: Bow before me citizens of planet Earth! I now rule you with the Mantis Flip Coin!
Wuya: You cannot rule the Earth yet. You have but one Shen Gong Wu!
Jack: How many are there?
Jack: What?! OK… you’re gonna need to get solid and help me out here.
Omi: Hello friend! That coin is of great mystical importance. May we please have it?
Jack: (laughs) No way shortie! This Shen Gong Wu is mine!
Raimundo: How does he know about Shen Gong Wu?
Wuya: How indeed!
Dojo: Wuya! Wow! The years have not been kind to you!
Wuya: Mind your tongue reptile! Dashi isn’t here to protect you!
Omi: Away evil spirit! You cannot stop us!
Jack: She can’t, I can. (Pushes button on watch). Jack-Bots! Attack! Mince them.
(Jack-Bots take out blades for arms that are spinning very fast).
Omi: Water! Haaa cha!
Clay: (throws himself into a robot). (to Omi) Its not y’er weight, it’s how you throw it around.
Jack: You never mentioned freaks in pajamas would be looking for the Shen Gong Wu too.
Wuya: Details! You’ve got the Flip Coin! Go!
(Jack takes off in his helli-bot).
Omi: (gasps) The Mantis Flip Coin!
(Runs after Jack, jumping over his robots). (Kimiko accidentally throws a Jack-Bot at Raimundo who ducks and Clay takes the blow). (He flies through the air toward Omi).
Omi: (Jumping towards Jack) Gotcha! (Jack-Bot hits him).
Jack: Ha ha ha ha ha! Lesson for losers. Don’t mess with Jack Spicer.
Omi: Kindly remove your gigantic self from being on top of my body!
Clay: Sorry about that, little buddy.
Omi: Because of you three, we have lost the first Shen Gong Wu!
Rai: Dude, it was a coin.
Omi: A magical coin! Do you not understand? The more Shen Gong Wu Wuya possess, the stronger she is!
Kim: Sorry, Omi.
Clay: We’ll do better next time.
Dojo: Uh, next time is now. I’m sensing another Shen Gong Wu.
Kim: Let’s see what we’ve got.
Omi: The Two-Ton Tunic.
Dojo: Ohh, I remember that. It was Dashi’s invulnerable armor.
Kim: Ha ha. Excellent. Spicer better watch his back, because this round is ours.
(Scene shows Jack holding up the Two-Ton Tunic)
Jack: The Two-Ton Tunic is mine!
Rai: Not so fast!
Omi: Jack Spicer, today, victory is mine!
Clay: Better not count your chickens before they hatch.
Omi: A fearsome force, but they are not prepared for the awesome might of the Two-Ton Tunic!
(The tunic activates and the pier that the Warriors are standing on breaks under the weight).
Wuya: You lost the Two-Ton Tunic!
Jack: Relax. We’ll get the next one.
Dojo: Look, it’s not the way Grand Master Dashi would have done it, but, hey, you’re still learning.
Omi: I do not wish to speak of the failures of me or my students. I only wish to find the next Shen Gong Wu.
Rai: Which is?
Kim: The Eye of Dashi.
Clay: Way, I figure it, it shoots lightning something fierce.
(Searching for the Shen Gong Wu).
Clay: Now, this is my kind of place.
Kim: Are you kidding? I’m not even getting a signal here.
Rai: If I were a lightning-shooting Shen Gong Wu, where would I be?
Dojo: Close, you’d be close.
Omi: The Eye of Dashi! Ooh!
Jack: Sorry monk boy. This ones mine!
Omi: I was here first!
Jack: Too bad! Hey, what’s with the glowing?
Omi: It is a Xiaolin Showdown.
Rai: It’s a what now?
Dojo: A Xiaolin Showdown. It’s what happens when two warriors reach a stale mate over a Shen Gong Wu. Two words: frea-key.
Omi: Jack Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown. I wager my Two- Ton Tunic against your Mantis Flip Coin. Whoever reaches the last stone first wins the Eye of Dashi and the other Shen Gong Wu as well.
Wuya: Accept the challenge. Accept it!
Jack: I accept your challenge, Omi.
Omi: Let’s go. Xiaolin Showdown!
(The Showdown raises the stones high into the sky with Omi and Jack atop them).
Jack: Aah Aah!
Omi: Ohh… I did not expect this.
Dojo: That’s a Xiaolin Showdown for ya: always keeps you guessing. [Dojo speaking Chinese] Gong Yi Tan Pai! That means go.
Jack: How am I supposed to do this?
Wuya: Use your Shen Gong Wu.
Jack: Oh, yeah. Mantis Flip Coin!
Omi: Jack Spicer forgets I have my own Shen Gong Wu. Two-Ton Tunic! (Omi falls over with the enormous weight of the Shen Gong Wu). Of course, I forgot the Two-Ton Tunic is very heavy! (Jumps) Whoa! [Bang]
Rai: You know what I just realized? Master Fung never answered my question about the bed.
Kim: Come on, Omi!
Jack: I’ve got this in the bag, but never hurts to cheat. Jackbots, don’t care, don’t want to know how. Just make him gone.
Omi: Whoa. I cannot fight with this heavy garment! Whoa! (Looks at Clay) It’s not your weight. It’s how you throw it around!
Clay: That’s showin’ ‘em!
(Omi jump on the back of a Jackbot).
Omi: Honor the power of the off switch.
Kim: Don’t mess with the monk!
Wuya: Don’t just stand there like a buffoon! Finish the race!
Omi: (jumping toward Jack) Yaah!
Jack: Ha ha ha ha ha! Now that I’ve defeated you, perhaps you’ll respect the genius of Jack Spicer!
Omi: Respect this! (Omi pantses Jack).
(Rai and Kim laughs)
Omi: (grabbing Eye of Dashi) Ha!
Kim: Omi, that was sweet!
Clay: You done a good day’s roundup, partner.
Rai: I really like that robe thing. What’s it called again?
Omi: The Two-Ton Tunic!
(The Shen Gong Wu activates and Omi falls over from the weight).
Rai: (picking up Omi) I got ya.
(Scene opens with Master Fung talking to the students in the Xiaolin Temple).
MF: You have all done exceptionally well. Wouldn’t you agree, Dojo?
Dojo: Not bad… for amateurs.
MF: The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.
Dojo: Where do you get this stuff?
MF: I have a desk calendar.
Omi: Master Fung… there are so many Shen Gong Wu left to be found.
MF: Your new friends will help.
Omi: Oh yes, Master. I have already taught much to Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay.
MF: But, Omi, they are here to teach you.
Omi: But I am the chosen one.
MF: You aren’t the only chosen one, Omi. Someday, your new friends may become Dragons as well: Kimiko, the Dragon of Fire; Clay, the Dragon of Earth; and Raimundo, the Dragon of the Wind.
Omi: Is this true, Master?
MF: Yes, but I didn’t want to tell you until you were ready.
Clay: I don’t think he was ready.
(Scene zooms out on the Xiaolin Temple and fades out).
Saving Omi (2) Script
Saving Omi, Part 2 Script
Omi: Previously on Xiaolin Showdown…
MF: The Ying Yo-Yo acts as a portal to the Ying Yang World, a parallel universe with laws of its own. Its powers are not fully understood.
Chase: One day Omi will grow strong enough to defeat me. If not delivered to the side of darkness soon, I will have no choice but to destroy him.
Kim: Where is Master Fung?
Dojo: He’s gone!
Chase: You are here about Master Fung. He’s missing, and you must travel to the Ying Yang World and I will help you.
Chase: (holding out Ying Yo-Yo) I believe this is what you’ve been looking for.
Omi: Ying Yo-Yo!
Chase: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Omi (evil): Only one person stood by me, believed in me, and trusted me. That is where I choose to go.
Chase: The prophecy has been realized. [Thunder] Now that you have chosen the Heylin way, I will rule the world with you at my side.
Clay: Sure is funny how much the world can change in a day.
Kim: How is this possible? Omi of all people turn to the dark side?
Dojo: Yeah, the smart money would have been on Raimundo again. No offense.
Rai: None taken. Even I would have taken that bet.
Clay: The little cheese ball has always been straight as an arrow.
Dojo: Oops. There! He looks 10 years younger.
Kim: Maybe the answer’s hidden in one of those ancient scrolls.
Dojo: OK, we’ll check it out right after I finish flossing Master Fung’s teeth. You might want to stand back. This can get pretty messy.
(In the scroll room)
Dojo: Very interesting. It says here that Alexander the Great had seven toes on one foot and 3 on the other.
Rai: What about Omi?
Dojo: Oh, I’m pretty sure he has five on each, but I’ve never taken a close look.
Clay: This is getting is nowhere. I can’t make out half the stuff in these dag nard scrolls.
Dojo: Penmanship. Never a strong suit of the great masters.
Kim: Well, we can’t quit. There’s got to be something we can do.
Dojo: Well, I know what I got to do. Time for Master Fung’s scalp massage.
(At Chase’s lair)
Omi: Uhh! Hyah! Hyah! Shadow of mine, you are no match! Hyah! Hyah! Wuya, will you fight me?
Wuya: Even if I had a body, no.
Chase: Perhaps you would like a rest?
Omi: I have no time to rest. I must fight. Hyah! Hyah!
Chase: I promise you, Omi, you will have plenty of time to fight.
Omi: If only I did not have to sleep. I could fight 7-24. Hyah! Hyah!
Chase: While I admire your dedication, Omi, you will need to start choosing your battles more wisely.
Omi: As long as I get to fight, fight, fight!
Chase: From now on, you will remain at my side fighting only for the dark forces.
Omi: Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Chase: We are destined to take evil to an entirely new level, but first you must swear to me your loyalty.
Omi: I do swear my loyalty to you. Now can we fight?
Both: Hyah! Hyah!
Chase: Harness your skills wisely. And use them to defeat the enemy, not just your shadow.
Wuya: What’s wrong with him? He was less annoying when he was on the side of good.
Chase: For a fallen warrior, his dark side isn’t so dark. I will have to accustom our new friend to the ways of evil.
Vlad: Look what Vlad find hiding in bushes like rodent. Here, Cyclops! You want new toy?
Jack: Hey, put me down! This is now way to treat a super evil boy genius! Ooh! Oh, that’s nice. Cyclops cooties.
Chase: Why are you here?
Jack: My friends are gone. I’ve got nobody to play with. I guess I’m kind of lonely.
Chase: Cyclops put him down now. To what depths of humiliation are you willing to sink in order to say?
Jack: Just name it and I’m there. I’ll even eat a bug.
Wuya: What is this, the wayward home for evil wannabes?
Chase: Rise worm. You can stay.
Jack: Really? Thank you.
Chase: In your own idiotic way, you helped make all this possible.
Jack: That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
(Jack hugs Chase)
Chase: Let go or I’ll let Cyclops chew on you for a while. Now make yourself useful and change Cyclops. He’s soiled himself again.
Chase: And when you’re done, be sure to bury the treasure deep.
Omi: (punching Tubbimura) Ooh! Hyah!
Kim: Hey, guys, there’s something you really should see! When the Temple was attacked, Dojobot recorded everything.
Dojo: Master Fung always did enjoy movie night.
MF: Chase Young, what are you doing here?
Chase: Just taking care of business. Evil business. Ying Yo-Yo!
Dojo (in video): Look, I insist. I’ll give back all of the cool gifts you ever gave me.
Jungle cats: [Roaring]
All: Hyah! Uhh!
Rai: Hey, that’s me getting my butt handed to me. How come I don’t remember any of this?
Kim: Funny you should ask.
Chase: Wushan Geyser!
Dojo: Here it is. The Wushan Geyser. It erases your enemy’s memory and it’s good for quick escapes like when you accidentally spill hot chocolate on Master Fung’s lap.
Clay: OK, I get the Wushan Geyser, but how did Chase corral the Ying Yo-Yo? Jack had that Wu.
Kim: I’m not so sure. I’ll bet that Chase Young grabbed it when we were all fighting. And later, he switched it back to make it look like Jack had it all along.
Chase (in daydream): I believe this is what you’ve been looking for.
Clay: That Chase Young is not only a sneaky outlaw, but a busy one.
Kim: Now what?
(Omi shown with evil look on face)
Omi: I am ready to fight. Let us fight. Fight, fight, fight! Hyah! Hyah!
Rai: Omi! Omi! This is all Chase Young’s doing. He lied to you. He’s the one who snatched Master Fung.
Kim: You haven’t been yourself since you went to the Ying Yang World. Something’s happened to you!
Clay: Do you reckon he understands anything we’re telling him?
Omi: Yes, I understand everything. Enough of your mindless chitter chat. Bring it off!
Rai: Bring it on.
Omi: Off, on, just bring it. I do not have all day. Hyah! Hyah!
Clay: Whoo! Little fella seems scrappier than a two-headed cat at a dog show.
Chase: Have at it, Omi. You’ve earned it.
Clay: I’ve got a notion this is gonna hurt me more than you. Lasso Boa Boa!
Kim: Woozy Shooter!
Kim: You know, if I wasn’t me, I could be someone else. [Giggles] Like Cyclops. Ha ha ha!
Rai: Silk Spinner!
Kim, Rai: (stuck to the wall) Uhh!
Rai: Oops! Sorry, guys. Uhh!
Chase: See, Omi, just as I taught you. The Shen Gong Wu are merely a crutch for true power.
Dojo: (to MF) Maybe we should get you a helmet.
Rai: At least they didn’t take much.
Dojo: More than you think.
Kim: Is it bad?
Dojo: You know how bad things are now?
Dojo: You ain’t seen nothing yet. The Serpent’s Tail is also missing. That can only mean one thing.
Chase: Serpent’s Tail!
Wuya: Reversing Mirror! Excellent work, Chase. It’s good to be all-powerful again. Rise, my rock creatures. I said rise, my rock creatures! What’s going on?
Chase: You don’t think I’d be so foolish as to restore you to your full powers?
Wuya: You don’t trust me?
Chase: The very qualities that make you a worthy partner in evil make you, well…highly untrustworthy.
Wuya: True. I guess I would have done the same thing.
Dojo: There, all cleaned up fresh as a newborn baby. Now for the hard part. You really should appreciate me more. What’s this? (Running out of the Temple) Kids! Kids, look what I found in Master Fung’s feet!
Kim: Just tell me it’s not moving.
Dojo: It’s the missing piece of the scroll. I must’ve used it to patch that hole in Master Fung’s sandal.
Kim: And you just found it?
Dojo: There are some places I try to avoid.
Rai: So what does it say?
Dojo: It turns out that the Ying Yo-Yo is actually one of two Shen Gong Wu: the Ying Yo-Yo and the Yang Yo-Yo. When leaving the Ying Yang World, you must have both Wu or the good part of you will be left behind. In a bottle so big with a personalized Chi label.
Rai: What about Master Fung?
Dojo: He must have put himself in a meditative state to keep his evil side locked up. Only his Chi can awaken him.
Kim: Well, then we’ll just have to go into the Ying Yang World and find both Omi and Master Fung’s Chi.
Clay: Hold on there, little lady. If we do that, won’t we wind up like Omi?
Dojo: Not if you have the Yang Yo-Yo. Last I remember, it’s somewhere in the Ying Yang World. Uh, maybe. All you have to do is find it… if it’s there. But not to worry, I’m certain it’s there. Just not 100% certain.
Rai: Good enough for me. Let’s go. But first we’ve got to get the Ying Yo-Yo back from Chase.
(At Chase’s lair)
(The Warriors are now surrounded by a bunch of Chase’s warriors.
Dojo: It may be time to use our secret weapon, the Sweet Baby Among Us.
But we’ve never used that Shen Gong Wu. What does it do? Guess we’ll find out. Sweet Baby Among Us! Huh?
[Grunting and groaning]
That baby sure packs a wallop.
Chase: We’ve been expecting you. And right on time.
Jack: Check it and weep, baby. No place to run.
Omi: Orb of Tornami!
Rai: Sword of the Storm!
Chase: Rely on your martial art skills.
Omi: Tornado Strike! Hyah!
Kim: Thorn of Thunderbolt!
Jack: Reversing Mirror!
Clay: Ying Yo-Yo!
Dojo: Hey! Something’s got me! It feels slimy! Ohh! Aah!
Kim: It is. It’s Jack Spicer.
Jack: Look, Chase, I got ‘em! I got ‘em! Ha ha ha! Now let’s finish them. Chase? Uh, Chase? I surrender! Don’t hit me!
Relax, no one’s gonna touch you as long as you stop slobbering all over my boots.
Good Omi: Hello, my wonderful friends.
Your head’s even bigger than before.
Omi: Yes, but it is not bigger than the joy I feel towards all of you. If I had arms, I would give you all a hug. If I had legs, I would leap for joy.
Clay: Well, you don’t, partner. You’re just one big floating head.
Omi: The Ying yang World is a most wondrous place. It is only limited by one’s imagination.
Rai: Maybe you can just point the way.
Omi: Then I suggest we go up.
Kim: None of the bottles are marked. How are we supposed to know whose Chi is whose?
Omi: In the Ying Yang World, the right Chi will reveal itself.
Kim: I’m guessing it’s not a coincidence.
Dojo: Master Fung, I’ll take care of your Chi like it was my very own. Uhh! Huh? What was that?
Jack: I didn’t see anything.
Dojo: Yeah, me neither.
Rai: Now all we got to do is find the Yang Yo-Yo.
Kim: We could look forever and never find it.
Clay: Man, this place may be even bigger than Texas. Though not likely.
Rai: Well, since Dojo hid the Wu, we should look in the last place that we would expect to find it.
Clay: Uh, how about second to last place? Even Dojo wouldn’t hide it in the last place. Dojo: That’s why everything sounded so muffled. Thanks.
Clay: Ying Yang Yo-Yo!
Dojo: Hey, watch where you’re--
Omi: I see you have come to fight. Fight, fight, fight!
Kim: I’ve got an idea. Keep Omi busy. Manchurian Musca!
Rai, Clay: Uhh! Uhh!
Jack: Changing Chopsticks!
Rai: Huh? Wind!
Clay: Sismic kick! Uhh! Aah! Uhh!
Omi: Heylin power! Tsunami Strike! Water!
Clay: Lasso Boa Boa! Uh-oh. Uhh! Uhh!
(In Omi’s brain)
(Inside Omi’s brain)
Kim: Aah! (Accidentally throws Chi and Jack catches it) Give it back!
Rai: Hyah! Hyah! Whoo! Uhh!
Jack: Reversing Mirror! Reversing Mirror!
Rai: Uhh! Aah!
(Clay grabs Omi from behind)
Omi: What? Uhh!
[Deep voice] Heylin power. Tsunami Water Blade, Ice! (Omi’s Chi is returned) Ohh! [Sighs] Ohh!
(Omi falls and Clay and Rai catch him)
Kim: Manchurian Musca.
Jack: Changing Chopsticks.
Omi: Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, I was ready to humiliate you in battle, but I have no idea why.
Kim: It’s OK, Omi. It’s just good to have you back.
Jack: Omi, I missed you so.
Omi: OK, now I am most confused.
Dojo: Jack brought the Reversing Mirror into the Ying Yang World. Instead of coming out whole, he must have left behind all of his evil.
Chase: I hate to interrupt such a nauseating moment, but we have some serious evil left on the agenda.
Clay: You have got no hold on Omi. He’s got his Chi back, and you ain’t getting your grubby hands on it.
Chase: Omi swore his loyalty to me.
Kim: He wasn’t himself back then.
Rai: Omi is going nowhere except back home with us. Wudai Wind! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Chase (in reptile form): [Roars]
Clay: Monsoon Sandals!
Chase: Heylin Memory Recall!
Omi: (in recall) I do swear my loyalty to you.
Omi: Wait. Chase Young is right. As a Xiaolin Monk, I am bound by my word.
Kim, Clay, Rai, Jack: [Gasping together]
Omi: I have no choice but to stay.
Omi Cat: [Yowls]
Rai, Clay, Kim, Jack: [Together] Ohh!
Chase: As you can see, Omi belongs to me. Now and forever. Ha ha ha!
Jungle Cats: [All growling]
Chase: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
(Dojo flies away from lair with Jack, Kim, Clay, and Rai on his back. Omi looks at them leaving from the lair.)
To be continued…
The Life and Times of Hannibal Roy Bean Script
The Life and Times of Hannibal Roy Bean Script
Omi: Sweet Baby Among Us is a most worthy Shen Gong Wu.
Kim: After this workout, we can kick any baby’s butt!
MF: I am pleased by your enthusiasm. But, developing one’s Wudai skills will be a long journey.
Rai: No problemo, Fungo. I say bring it on, baby. Bring it on!
MF: A very… very long journey.
Dojo: Hey, boys and girls a new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself. It’s called… The Moby Morpher. Whoever possesses the Wu can change his shape and size, even take on the appearance of his enemy. It’s one of the most--
Rai: One of the most powerful and dangerous Shen Gong Wu. That’s what he was gonna say.
Jack: Make yourself useful and hand me the socket wrench.
YY Bird: Hand me the socket wrench.
Jack: That’s a crescent wrench, birdbrain!
YY Bird: That’s a crescent wrench, birdbrain! Aawwwk!
Jack: You may not know your wrenches, but you are feisty!
YY Bird: You are feisty!
Jack: I guess we both are. How ‘bout I call you… Little Jack?
YY Bird: Little Jack! Little Jack!
Jack: Say, “You’re a stinky butt!”
YY Bird: You’re a stinky butt! Oh, this is too cool! [Electronic signal][Bzz bzz bzz] Hey, best bird bud, it’s time I show you how I make my evil living! No good, rotten pizza face!
YY Bird: No good, rotten pizza face! No good, rotten pizza face! Awwwkk!
Jack: Aah! [Sobbing]
Dojo: We’ve got Wu at 3 o’clock. Please pass your remaining trash to the center aisle. Wuya: Well, well. Look what the old dragon dragged in.
Omi: Prepare for a lesson in humility!
Rai: You’re not gonna join in?
Chase: No interest. This is Wuya’s party.
Clay: It just don’t seen right beatin’ up a 1,500-year-old lady. Fist of Tebigong! Earth! Whoa-oa-oa! Point taken.
Kim: Well, I’ve got no problem kicking old hag’s butt.
Wuya: Well, come and get it.
Kim: Star Hanabi! Fire! Aah!
Rai: Ok, old evil one. Let’s see what you got! Sword of the Storm!
Wuya: My! You’re quite a muscular young man.
Rai: Yeah, I work out… a lot.
Omi: As a disciplined Wudai Warrior, I will not be influenced by your most powerful female willies! Orb of Tornami!
Kim: Wuya, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown. The game is meteor shower. The first to reach the Moby Morpher wins.
Wuya: And to make it interesting, my Ying Yo-Yo against your Yang Yo-Yo!
Chase: You never mentioned you have the Ying Yo-Yo.
Wuya: Oh. Didn’t I? Must have slipped my mind.
Omi: Kimiko, remember, if you enter the Ying Yang World without both Wu, you will come out evil!
Dojo: And if you enter evil, you come out good. We may need a score card for this one.
Kim, Wuya: Let’s go! Xiaolin Showdown! Gong Yi Tan Pai!
Kim: Yang Yo-Yo!
Evil Kim: Once I have both Wu, it’s evil domination, baby!
Rai: What’s wrong with Kimiko?
Omi: She left her good in the Ying Yang World.
Wuya: Ying Yo-Yo!
Good Wuya: If I win, I’m opening a home for birds without nests.
Kim: Yang Yo-Yo!
Wuya: Ying Yo-Yo!
Kim: Yang Yo-Yo!
Wuya: Ying Yo-Yo!
Kim: Yang Yo-Yo!
Wuya: Ying Yo-Yo!
Dojo: It’s funny, but sometimes it’s hard to tell the good and evil apart, you know what I’m saying?
Kim: Yang Yo-Yo!
Kim: [Giggles] Huh?
Omi: You are the male!
Rai: Uh, that’s you are the man.
Clay: Well, you’re… definitely something.
Rai: What’s goin’ on?
Clay: No good ornery bird!
Wuya: My Shen Gong Wu!
Chase: Your Shen Gong Wu?
Wuya: I never saw it before.
Jack: Hate to taunt and run, but me and my posse don’t play by the rules. We play to win! Little Jack, bring me the Wu!
YY Bird: Bring me the Wu. Bring me my Wu! I have a better idea. Get your own Wu, sissy boy! Awwwk!
Jack: What’s the world come to when you can’t even trust your bird?
Dojo: There’s something strange about that flying feather duster.
Omi: I believe Little Jack may not be just your average parrot.
Jack: I got ya! Oh! [Sniff] Too high! Nose bleed!
Chase: It seems our feathered thief the Ying Ying Bird. Its arrival means that a very close friend of mine is nearby-- Hannibal Bean.
Wuya: Mmm. I’ve heard of Hannibal Bean. Maybe you could introduce us some time?
Chase: Only if I wish to get rid of you, which could be arranged quite easily.
Wuya: (sticks out tongue) Nyyah!
Rai: You want it? Come on! Too slow! Ha ha ha!
Omi, Kim, Clay: Ha ha ha ha!
MF: Wudai Warriors, you leave for the Ying Yang World where you will retrieve the stolen Shen Gong Wu. You will take the Silver Manta Ray.
Omi: What about Dojo?
MF: Unfortunately, Dojo cannot fly in the Ying Yang World.
Dojo: Do you have to tell everyone? Some things you wanna keep private.
MF: Remember to remain cautious. Anything can happen in the Ying Yang World.
Dojo: And it usually does.
MF: Shen Gong Wu can be most unpredictable. They may work fine at times, then behave just the opposite.
Dojo: Yeah. Spontaneous combustion is the leading cause of injury. Probably should bring along a fire extinguisher.
Omi: Ying Yang Yo-Yo!
Jack: Ugh! Very nice! Ah…Ah-ah-ah-ah! Huh? Ha ha! Hah hah hah! When I find that Wu-stealing bird, he’s chicken tacos… parrot-style!
Good Jack: I wouldn’t go in there if I were you… which I am.
Jack: Jack? Please! I don’t allow anyone to touch me… especially… me.
Good Jack: Don’t you recognize me? You used the Ring of the Nine Dragons to make me the last time you were here.
Jack: So that’s why I’ve been feeling more evil than ever.
Good Jack: Oh, Jack. It’s so good to see you! No, no, no. You don’t wanna go in there. That’s where Hannibal Bean lives. The last thing you need are more bad influences.
Jack: Hannibal Roy Bean? He’s the meanest, evilest force in the universe! He’s my evil hero.
Good Jack: I thought Chase Young was your evil hero.
Jack: What, I’m not allowed more than one evil hero in my life?
Good Jack: Be careful! Call me if you need me!
Dojo: Hey, it’s kinda nice to be a passenger for a change. I could get used to this. Hey, easy on the controls!
Rai: It’s not me. Master Fung said Wu can act unpredictably in the Ying Yang World.
Dojo: Maybe I should take over. I’d like to leave the parallel universe in one piece.
Omi: Do you know how to fly the Silver Manta Ray?
Dojo: Please! I was flyin’ before I could crawl. I’m not just a mystical dragon. I’m also a certified pilot.
Rai: Good enough for me. She’s all yours, pappy.
Dojo: Now, let’s see if we can pick up the pace a little.
Dojo: Don’t worry! I got everything under control!
Dojo: Here! I found the flying manual!
Computer: Estimated time of impact, 10 seconds. 9 seconds… 8 seconds… 7 seconds… 6 seconds…
Computer: 5seconds… 4 seconds…
Omi: Golden Finger!
Computer: 2 seconds…
Dojo: Look, it says here, “If all else fails, use the Golden Finger Shen Gong Wu to freeze time momentarily.” Heh. See? No problem.
Jack: Aah! Ow! Unh! Hello?
Hannibal Roy Bean: Hello. I see that I have company. To whom do I owe the pleasure?
Jack: I’m Jack Spicer, evil boy-genius. I really, really love your work, Mr. Bean, sir.
HRB: Of course you do, boy. Now come a little closer. I promise I won’t bite.
Jack: Heh heh heh. Uh… one day I want to be as evil as you.
HRB: Well, ain’t you sweet. You will, once you overcome your fears.
Jack: I’m not afraid of anything!
HRB: You sleep with a night light, you’re scared of clowns, and you have panic attacks when you’re away from your mama for more than one day.
Jack: How do you know that?!
HRB: It’s apparent to me that you’re just one generation away from good. That’s why you work so hard, to prove you’re, heh heh, evil.
Jack: I am evil! I am! And… I want to go home now.
HRB: Not before getting’ what you came for. I have Shen Gong Wu.
Jack: And I can have them?
HRB: All you have to do is open the cage… and take ‘em.
Jack: Funny-- you look taller on TV.
HRB: If you’re true evil, you know what to do.
Jack: Uh… can you give me a hint?
HRB: Just open the cage and let me out, you twit!
Good Jack: Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Hey, guys, over here. Whoa. (Trips and falls on face). (Jumps up and hugs the Warriors).
Kim: Oooooh… it’s good, Jack.
Good Jack: I am so happy to see you.
Clay: Oh, how in tarnation did you go and get all good again?!
Good Jack: This is the good part of me I left behind from before.
Dojo: Can’t… breathe. Losing… consciousness.
(Good Jack releases them).
All: Unh! Uhh!
Kim: [Back cracks] Maybe we should save the hugs until after we find out what’s going on.
Good Jack: I’m afraid my evil side’s about to get into a whole lot of trouble.
Omi: What kind of trouble are you talking about?
Jack: Bad Jack went to visit… Hannibal Bean! I told him not to, but does he listen to me? Nooooooo!
Dojo: Hannibal Roy Bean is here?!
Omi: You have heard of him? Hannibal is the one who turned Chase Young to evil. Chase Young and Master Monk Guan were once the best of friends. But Hannibal found away to come between them. He knew Chase Young’s weakness was his need to be the best on the block, and Master Monk Guan was the one who stood in his way. Hannibal reminded him of his destiny-- to be the greatest warrior ever. But that destiny could only be found on the Heylin Side.
Chase(in memory): [Roaring]
Dojo: Later, Chase felt the Heylin Side was growing a little too crowded, and double-crossed him.
HRB (in memory): Yow!
Dojo: He locked Hannibal in the Ying Yang World for eternity.
Dojo: As you can imagine, it put a real strain on their relationship.
Rai: I don’t get it. How can something so puny be so powerful?
Omi: I understand. Strength is not measured by one’s size, but by the size of one’s strength.
Kim: That may be, but he’s still just a bean.
Rai: Look, maybe we should check out this bean dude. Clay, you know about tractors. Maybe you can fix the Silver Manta Ray.
Clay: Oh, sure. Yeah. Tractors and mystical flying transports are like two peas from the same pod.
(In HRB’s prison)
Jack: Hi, guys. Nice weather.
Omi: Jack Spicer! What are you doing here?
Jack: It’s that no good Hannibal Bean. He got me to let him go, and then he locked me up. He lied to me!
Kim: Yeah, evil villains have a tendency to do that.
Jack: He was right about one thing. I do miss my mommy… and… I want to go home! [Sobbing]
Jack 2: Hey, what’s going on? What am I doing there when I’m here?
Jack: That’s not me! That’s not me! That’s Hannibal Bean. I bet he used the Moby Morpher to make himself look like me after I let him out.
Jack 2: I never let me out. I mean him.
Rai: I have an idea. We’ll use the Ring of the Nine Dragons to reunite the two real Jacks. Ring of the Nine Dragons!
Jack 2: Uh-aaa-aaa-aaa…
Good Jack: Uh-- aaa…
(Hannibal Bean is really the Jack that was locked in Hanni’s prison).
Omi: So it appears that it was not Jack who acted so stupid as to free Hannibal Bean. It was… me?
HRB (in Jack form): You got it, sweet pea! Ha ha ha ha. Moby Morpher!
HRB (in bean form): Heh heh heh heh heh.
Omi: Enough chat chit! Today victory is mine, Hannibal Bean!
Kim: Hardly seems like a fair fight.
HRB: True. Perhaps I should fight with my eyes closed.
Omi: Wudai Neptune Water!
Kim: Wudai Mars Fire!
Rai: Wudai Star Wind!
HRB: Moby Morpher! (Changes into Omi).
All: Hyah! Hyah!
Dojo: I wonder which one is the real Omi.
Dojo 2 (Hanni): I don’t have the foggiest idea.
Dojo: Hey, you’re not me, ‘cause I’m me. Guys, it’s Hannibal Bean!
Kim, Rai, Omi: Aah! Aah! Aah!
[All fighting, grunting]
HRB (in Dojo form): Moby Morpher!
HRB (in bean form): Well, thanks for the workout. We must do it again sometime. Right now I got a lot of evil catching up to do. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Rai: Hannibal may be out, but he’s still trapped in the Ying Yang World. I say we get back to the Silver Manta Ray and blow this taco stand!
Omi: They have tacos here?
Jack: Oh, can I sit up front? I get airsick easily.
All: Oh! Oh!
Omi: Ying Yang Yo-Yo!
Omi: [Gasps] Chase Young! What do you want?!
Chase: Nothing that concerns you Little One. I have some unfinished business to settle.
Chase: Hyah! Hyah!
Clay: Uhh… what in tarnation are you doin’?
Chase: I’m ending what I should have ended years ago.
All: Hyah! Unh! Hyah!
Clay (Hanni): Moby Morpher!
HRB: Nice to see you again, Chase. Hey, thanks for the assistance. Maybe one day I’ll return the favor. Heh heh heh heh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Continues sinister laughter]
Clay: I’m afraid we got big problems, pardner.
Omi: I know. You ripped the words from inside my mouth.
Chase: You fools! You don’t know what you’ve done. You have unleashed the greatest evil the world has ever seen.
Rai: Hmmph! Sounds like end of the world time… again.
Chase: No. it is far worse than that.
(Scene zooms out on the Xiaolin Temple in lightning storm)